Apparently, I get tons of hits because I mentioned ballet ONCE, and I mentioned drawing nudes ONCE. I’m just sayin.

Today is the second day of holy week, and things have been wild around here. We have a worship service every single day this week, and because we are CLOSING!!! on our house on Thursday, I only have to work until Wednesday because we’re closed on Friday!

Yeeesssssssss… I love long weekends

Ok. This is TMI, but this is also my blog so if you don’t like it, if you’re using a PC the little red ‘x’ is at the upper right hand corner of the screen.

I took BCP for 4 years. I took 3 different kinds and I was either really nausiated, really mopey, or just down right mean. Six months after the hubs and I got married, I started a form of non-hormonal birth control called Natural Family Planning/Fertility Awareness Method. (You can read about it on fertilityfriend.com or pick up the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility).

That’s going great, it isn’t my problem. The problem is, however… I did the math in my head and I’m going to start my period sometime last week. If my post-luteal phase (the time frame between ovulation and menstruation. For a brief FAM lesson, each woman will generally have the same frame of time between ov and auntie flo, only varying by 24 hours or so. The factor that will make a woman go later than usual is her pre-ovulatory period, the time frame between the last day of auntie flo and the day she ovulates. I have had a 40 day cycle before, but all of my post-luteal phases have been 14 days. So, subtracting my post-ovulatory period and that cycle’s menstration, that means I had a pre-ovulatory period of 21 days. Pretty long, but not unheard of ) is the same length as it has been for the past 3 months, it will put me at starting on Wednesday… the day before we close on our house. That will mean that my heaviest day will be the actual day of closing.

• sigh* Stupid AF!

PS: I guess I should be happy to see her, considering what my other option would be since I ovulated this month

You. Must. Watch. This.

Now.

Read this blog entry from SCL, one of my new favorite blogs:

http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/2009/03/favorite-post-6-good-enough-for-church.html

I thought this was GREAT.

We close on our first house April 9! We are a pretty decent mix of super excited and stressed to the max. 17 more days and we are the proud owners of a little house in a super cute little rural community!

Thanks to my nerves, I haven’t been able to barely pick up a pencil… Much less create anything worthwhile. I am ready to pull my hair out.

I’m going to be focusing on my new blog for the time being… It’s focused on my memory challenge I’ve given myself. If you’re interested, check it out!

http://www.xthirstyxthursdayx.wordpress.com

Goooood morning

I have given myself a memory verse for this week, and I have decided that every Thursday I’m going to pick a new Bible verse and spend the next week memorizing it. The reason I’m calling it Thirsty Thursday is in reference to the Word being Living Water, a metaphor used by Christ in John 4:14- “But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life”.

This week, this is my Bible verse:
2 Timothy 3:16-17: “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

Yesterday I read something that really expounded on what I learned over the weekend at A Walk to Emmaus. The theme of the weekend was Bloom Where You’re Planted, and it touched on allowing God to use your circumstances, your personality, and even your quirks. One scripture we discussed in great length was 2 Tim 2:15, 20-21: “Do your best to present yourself before God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth… In a large house there are articles not only of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay; some are for noble purposes and some for ignoble. If a man cleanses himself from the latter, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work”.

Since I have a study Bible, it cross referenced me to another verse Romans 9:20-21 “But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘why did you make me like this?’ Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clap some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?”

Then that got me thinking… About the theme of the weekend, about the fact that when I got to the camp on Thursday I was searching. I didn’t know why God had made me the way that he did, what his purpose was for me, what he intended to do with me… More than that, I was a little frustrated and angry.

Why am I so sensitive? As much as I get hurt at times, I can’t help having a tender heart towards people no matter how much I get hurt. I don’t have a hard time distancing myself from people who hurt me, but my love for them always seems to keep me from cutting myself off emotionally. I guess it could be considered a good thing, but it doesn’t change the fact that I seem to have a bleeding heart.

Also, it seems like I find myself loving people that it’s not in my best interest to love. People who have worked against my interest in the past, people I should be angry with (and have been in the past). Maybe it WAS time to let those feelings go… But why is it that I feel love for them after all of that anger burned away? I feel like I’m betraying myself by not having negative feelings towards them anymore.

I’ve also questioned lighter things, too… Why can’t I be more athletic, thinner, more beautiful, more fun, more light hearted…

But over the course of the weekend I came to realize that God made me the way he did for a reason. This is not to say that I’m not going to always try to better myself, of course I need to always improve. But I need to quit trying to go against the grain of who I am- to do so is apparently a sin.

Added later: On the way to lunch, I was thinking about all this, and I realized something… You hear it a lot and it sounds so trite, but I came to realize that it’s a common thought because it’s true.

What I realized is, maybe God didn’t neccesarily make me beautiful on the surface, but he did give me a beautiful soul. A few years ago, my husband bought his mother two goblets cut from Alabaster for mother’s day. When you’re just holding them in your hand and looking at them in plain light, the Alabaster they’re hewn from is pretty enough. There are imperfections in the stone: streaks of cream, tan, and pink that just hold it back from being flawless.  Delicate and pretty enough, but flawed.

However, when you take that alabaster goblet and hold it up to the sunlight -or even better, set a lit tea light candle down into it- you find that those same streaks that made it seem imperfect from the outside actually accentuates its beauty when it glows from within.

Just the same, I realized that those things that I consider imperfections in my body and personality could actually accentuate the spirit God has given me if I allow Him to light me from the inside.

When I was at Emmaus over the weekend, I asked God to allow me to see others as Christ sees them. It’s a work in progress and something I have to pray for assistance with… But one thing I learned that what makes a beautiful smile isn’t full lips and two rows of perfectly straight, matching white teeth. What makes a beautiful smile is one that starts on the inside and is lit from within because of joy- that spreads and takes over a person’s whole face with authenticity. Beautiful eyes aren’t neccesarily perfectly wide and spaced apart with long lashes and a defined color… They are the eyes that shine with love for others. A beautiful body isn’t neccesarily one that is perfectly thin, tan, and sculpted- it is the one that wraps itself around someone else in a hug or it used to help others in need.

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on here.  I’m still obsessed with my moley, and I actually ended up buying a second one- a watercolor book. It’s seen more use than my moley sketchbook lately, partly because I prefer sketching on paper with more tooth (and the sketchbook’s paper is more like bristol board than sketch paper). I’ll update on that later, but my home computer is an expensive paperweight right now because it crashed and my d:/ doesn’t work so I can’t reload windows.

Anyway, this isn’t about art today, this is about my newest obsession that is taking up most of my free time and mental capacity- CrossFit.

For more info on what CrossFit is, check here: http://www.crossfit.com/

Anyway, I’ve been doing CrossFit for two weeks now and it has been ROUGH. Every day is something different, and you don’t find out what the workout of the day (WOD, for future reference) is until the morning of the workout. It’s popular with a lot of MMA guys… So you can guess how tough each workout is.

Anyway, I’m going to start trying to keep track of my progress with it. The goal isn’t to lose wieght really, (although it’s an impatiently anticipated fringe benefit, I’ll admit) it’s more about being physically strong and having the healthiest body I can have.

I have a few minor, silly goals..

1) This is potentially flameworthy, but I sincerely want to go au naturale one day when I’m having my baby. I know there are a lot of women who are clutching their pearls in horror at the thought of unmedicated childbirth, but I have terrible reactions to pain killers and I want to be there mentally. I know it’s silly for women who have never worked out a day in their life and have 0 pain tolerance to wait until they find out they’re pregnant to decide that they want to deliver naturally, but since I’m not even TTC right now I feel like that is a goal I can actively work on.

So to meet this goal, I am focusing on…

- Strengthening my core

- Building up my pain tolerance

- Building up my endurance

2) I want to be able to keep up with my husband physically. He was a life long athlete (soccer) up until college, so while he is just a little out of shape he still has a lot of strength, hand-eye coordination, and agility that I’ve never had. I’ve lived in my head for my entire life, so it’s huge deal that I’m trying to ‘come out of my head’ and focus on my physical issues instead.

Overall, the biggest thing I’m trying to get past is this mental block I have towards anything physically related. My whole life I was the skinny kid and the weakling. When I got older and started getting my period, I was one of the unlucky few who became anemic. Puberty was hard on me, for the longest time I was all arms and legs and embarrassingly clumsy when I did attempt to do athletic things.  I got made fun of a lot and never really lived down some of my more embarrassing moments, so it’s hard for me to be confident and try things that I feel like I’m going to fail. Being the smart kid was definitely easier than being the gawky, accident prone kid.

I don’t know how to properly run… or use a jump rope… or dribble a basketball… or catch a baseball in a mitt… or toss a football. Maybe some of these things will begin to change =(

Stats…

Weight: 147 – (WHY THE F AM I GAINING WEIGHT?!)

Days worked out this week: I’m at 3 counting today. I have tomorrow and then Sunday is an off day. My goal is to get up to working out 5 times a week. I’m at 4 right now.

Recent milestones…

We’ve been scaling my weights and rounds with each workout to give my body the chance to catch up and get used to working out so often… The typical number of rounds per workout is 5, but I had been doing 3 with a lighter weight. I’m still scaling back on the weight #, but I did 4 rounds for the first time last night. My lungs burned and tears were pouring down my face, but I did it. I was so proud of myself.

It’s been a while! My computer at work crashed and we didn’t have internet at home for a while, so I haven’t really been around. But we finally entered the 21st century and had the internet installed at our apartment, so here I am! It’s 9:50 on a Sunday night and I’m on the internet blogging I thought this day would never come!

I’ve had such a hard time with myself lately. I’m not happy with anything I draw and I’m so rusty. Nothing I do satisfies me. I’m inspired at the weirdest times. It’s never when I’m at home with all of my supplies at my disposal… Usually it’s about 3:00 in the afternoon whe I have 2 hours left at work and all I have is my moley and a thin-point sharpie. Drawing at work is awkward in general as a receptionist, so I’d rather just not do it at all. Occasionally creativity takes over and I have to, but 9 times out of 10 I just have to let it float by and mourn my missed opportunity.

Anyway, here are my most recent moley entries: